It's raining again, I just got really quite wet going out in my lunch break to buy screenwash (because my car ran out of it this morning and the windscreen got all smeary, which I dislike) ...now I come to think of it, should it continue to rain I won't really need to have gone out for the screenwash... rats... also something which sounded like a very long peal of thunder, but which was probably a jetliner just passed overhead.
All of the above is (quite appropriately) what you might describe as mundanely-moody: there's a certain atmosphere to it all and yet it's firmly rooted in the everyday and not remotely dramatic. This is fitting because that's exactly how I feel today.
Last night I was supposed to be going out on a date with this fella who (as I mentioned on Wednesday) I really like a lot, and with whom I feel there is definately some kind kind of emotional adventure to be had... I say 'supposed to' because (for the third time since I met him) he unexpectedly vanished yesterday afternoon, becoming uncontactable having given no indication behorehand that, or any reason why, this should happen. Needless to say it didn't make me happy, which is a shame because I really have been very happy all week up until that point, and expect I would have been even happier if I'd seen him as we'd planned.
I made all reasonable efforts to get in touch and find out what was or wasn't happening, without being drawn into frantically chasing about or becoiming the kind of sad limpit-person that past experience has made me a) aware that I can fall into being in relationships and b) firmly determined never to become again. So I made a few attempts at calling, left a good natured but puzzled message on one of his voicmail services and left it at that, until I hear anything back, which I expect I probably will at some point...
In the meantime I'm leaving it alone - anything I could make up in my head to explain what happened would just be the product of my own disapointment, and we all know how much fun those are. So I'm not doing that... but for now, all that bright optimistic adventuring fearlessness has quietly shifted into neutral: The engine's still ticking over but I'm not going anywhere with this for the time being, and that's a bit sad really - much like getting a puncture when you're setting off on holiday.
Plus of course part of me can't help feeling that this just serves me right for tempting fate and blogging about this in the first place - daft eh?
It's not all drizzle and gloom in splat-land today however: it's Friday for starters and I'd have to be pretty determined to be miserable in the face of that! Friday means that in a couple of hours I'll be off out with my friends, a whole different adventure and one I can't help but smile about. The aparent demise of our Tapas cave the other week has left these Friday gatherings a little more nomadic than they had been, but I find change is usually a good thing, and this particular change has so far prompted some excellent explorations. I'm keen to find out where it'll take us all tonight, but wherever it is it should be fun.
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