Retro-futuristic silliness

some people have way too much time on their hands, not like me of course ;) *cough*

breathe

feeling good again today - the restorative effect of my Friday night wasn't (it seems) completely ruined. Plus I've spent most of it doing really productive little things around the house (like fixing skirting board and redecorating bits that needed it) which always makes me happy.

*Expletive Deleted*

**warning** - this entry is a bit of a rant and I swear in it, if that sort of thing offends then please don't read on

I just had a lovely evening out decompressing from the working week with some of my best friends, we saw a stupid film that I really enjoyed, ate chips from my favorite chipshop, hung out and chatted and then went to see the Improverts who were on blazingly good form... then (because I've been sleeping very little this week and was tired) I cried off from going to the pub and set off back to the car with Anita - two minutes up the road from Bedlam a group of kids from work passed us, one of the more evidently plastered of them "whispering" animatedly to the others "that's Mr. Robertshaw" (yes Moron, I have a life and you will occasionally see me outside school) I carried on walking and talking to Anita unphased until said pisshead brat yelled my name, twice at the top of his lungs in that idiotic teenage taunting tone they do... at that point part of me wanted very much to turn round, walk up to him and just tell him to fuck off because I'm not on the meter and so in theory I could...

Of course I didn't, I kept right on walking and ignored the little wanker but it made me angry (as you might have gathered) not because I dislike having my name yelled in public, though for the record my name is not "Robertshaw!" halfwit it's Patrick and you don't know that because you don't know me, no it made me angry because right at the end of my wonderful Friday night, all the very worst of my job was brought thundering back in on my own time!

little bastard!

I realise this is going to sound like I'm over reacting. Perhaps I am, but for three years almost every working day has been spent putting up with some fairly obnoxious spoiled-brat teenagers and their posturing priveledged little 'rebellions' mostly directed at me - the authority punchbag: my job requires me to be the 'bad guy' to these kids, to "maintain a quiet and studious atmosphere" and you can imagine how that goes down with a bunch of 17 year olds! However I have no real clout and they (being at the end of their schooling) are intent on pushing the boundaries of authority, so they prod me, I'm the point in the system they can push at the boundaries with. The result is that I'm treated by a significant number (not all*) of the sixth form with total and utter disrespect. They're just little things, but they add up and they wear at me because I can't react to them or get away, and very occasionally something like that happens and my least favorite part of my working life invades my private life.

What makes it all the more comical is that I also spend a lot of time at work one way or another arguing for us to treat S6 more like young adults and less like infants, I think much of my job is as stupid as they do but I don't make the rules and it is my job so I do it because that's what grown-ups do kiddies, we suck it up and get on with it...

-- deep breath --

say it with me folks: I need a new job!

*I must in all fairness point out that there are some genuinely lovely kids that I work with who manage to be teenagers and yet still treat me like a fellow human being, they and the rest of my life (which is wonderful) are what keep my head from exploding.

ow.

I just waited in a dingy little room for 45 minutes so that I could be stabbed in the arm. :( I hate blood tests.

Nothing serious I just might be anaemic, what I certainly am though is sore, I'm lucky enough not have been stuck by needles very often but when I have it's always been fine so long as I didn't look directly at it (seeing things sticking out of me that aren't supposed to be there makes me a little uncomfortable) this one however really hurt.

boo hiss.

YAY!

2 more jobs applied for today, and my next mailing list for the speculative application thing is coming on well - been feeling rather down on the whole job hunt thing recently (mostly I think because I got rather too invested in one particular possibility which went nowhere) but today I feel much better.

I'm also happy because some icky personal-life mess that I created for myself a couple of weeks ago, has finally started to be resolved in terms of my not losing a very dear friend (there's still the small matter of figuring out why I caused the mess in the first place but I'll get there.)

Tomorow I have plans with the Friday gang which involve Hugh Jackman, Chips'n'Cheese from the Clamshell, and the Improverts. Bliss! Then this weekend I have all sorts of energetic house stuff to play at so that should all keep me happy.

Lastly (but not leastly) in eleven days time I get to go hillwalking in two of the best bits of north-west Scotland for a fortnight and I get paid for doing it!

Life is good.

shhh, you'll scare it...

... looks like my email is finally back up and running, but keep it under your hat.

Beltane

So this is what my Friday night looked like this week, (thanks to Liz for the picture: she's got lots of them here but be warned they'll take a very long time to load unless you've got a fast connection - I foolishly left my camera in the car) obviously neither of those writhing flame-ey people is me, and I was really only a spectator... though that said the atmosphere meant that it was impossible to be there and not feel like part of the celebration, so 'spectator' doesn't really do it justice.

I was of course at the Beltane fire festival on Calton Hill. Beltane is one of four ancient Celtic/Pagan seasonal celebrations, and probably the biggest of them. Edinburgh has been hosting a big Beltane event for about 15 years now and the Beltane Fire Society's webpages are well worth a look if you'd like to know more. Basically it's a big party with lots of fire and a crazy costumed procession all held to welcome in the spring.

Like I said it was impossible not to feel like part of it. We (myself, Liz, Moya, Austin and Anita) arrived about half past eight and for the first 45min or so it seemed very much like we were just standing about on a cold damp hill in the middle of the city. All that time though more people were arriving, mostly people like us who'd just come to watch, but also an increasing number of marauding Red Men whose role at Beltane is to make mischief, as Moya and Austin found out first hand when they got separated from the herd at one point.

Pretty soon after 9 things started happening up on the Acropolis, three huge *cough* fertility symbols were set alight, and some tremendous drumming ushered in the start of the formal procession. About then I lost all sense of time and became completely immersed in the proceedings, the air positively crackled and sang with the fire, the drums, and what I can only describe as as positive charge.

I'm not really much for mysticism and really I went along to watch the spectacle more than anything. I found myself instead being soaked through with the energy that washed over the hill, and coming away with a bright burning sense of something new having begun.