I've just been to see Garden State with Hamish. It's a good film, but I don't think I got half as much out of it as Hame did. You know how you can be in a conversation and not really feel like part of it? Like the other people talking are all communicating on a level that's missing you somehow? well this was like that - I understood what the film was saying but it wasn't really speaking to me while I think Hame was having his ear chewwed off, figuratively speaking.
It's been fun lately watching my best friend being in love, and this was like turning a lens on it but I couldn't help feeling a little like the part of me that the movie was pitching to is missing at the moment. Not gone, just kinda switched off and diverting to voicemail. I'm busy you see.
Last night I couldn't sleep - that's normal for the first night before work resumes... and not all that unusual in general - left to my own devices for any length of time my body clock shifts, and the waking day for me slews by about four or five hours out from everyone else's in the same timezone. Anyway I was lying awake with all this stuff going round in my head, not the usual late night anxiety crap either but really engaging stuff work stuff, life stuff, creative stuff... busy brain. Fun, though not good for sleeping... but then when I finally managed to get it to shut up and be quiet I had to get up because the silence freaked me out.
A blank page can be kinda scarey when you stop and look at it for too long. That's exactly what 2005 feels like to me at the moment: a vast and inviting/intimidating blank page. I've got some great ideas forming for what's going to go on there but right now they're still just forming, and that promising shapelessness is unsettling when looked at head on. Anyway the film tonight made me realise that for the first time in a long time, I'm really not thinking about love, not much. Realising that reminds me that love's exactly the sort of thing which shows up when you stop looking for it, but then if I think about that too long it starts to feel like I'm baiting fate or something daft so I'm going to go back to all the other stuff and just get on with creating my year.
watch this space (as always)
The random musings and happenings of a young-ish professional-ish man who lives in Scotland, thinks in Mandelbrot shapes and frequently feels too much
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Monday, January 03, 2005
Happy New Year!
OK it's three days in now but the sentiment still holds and besides I've been busy having an extended New Year with friends - great stuff!
Have one or two changes planned for round here over the next few days so keep an eye out for those... lots of changes happening in the house too - promise updated photos for those who won't see them in person.
better keep it short - tonnes to do.
Have one or two changes planned for round here over the next few days so keep an eye out for those... lots of changes happening in the house too - promise updated photos for those who won't see them in person.
better keep it short - tonnes to do.
Monday, December 20, 2004
a meme (sorry)
blame Ros for this:
"book meme" instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.
As you can imagine, working in a library makes this almost irresistable! ...not to mention rather tricky. The closest books are actually dictionaries (these live on little narrow shelves behind my desk where they can be protected from marauding language students,) I discounted them because they don't really have many sentences in as such (I looked in the big Collins Spanish which is the actual nearest book to where I sit, but there are mostly just words and disjointed phrases in it which don't work for the purposes of the meme)
Instead I carefully paced out the distance from my desk to the next nearest shelves - it's a close run thing but 940 "European History" is marginally closer than the other nearby shelves
Nearest book in the 940 shelves (going by the height I'm at when seated at my desk) is the Vainglorious War: Barker, A.J. (940.2 BAR) and the fifth sentence on p.123 is:
"In their hurry to get back to Sebastapol the Russians had not demolished the bridges over the river or attempted any of their usual scorched earth routine"
There now, wasn't that worthwhile?
...
Why yes, I have finished work for the day! how did you guess? ;) I'm finished for the year in fact as of five minutes ago, and now I'm off to brave the horrors of Princes Street in search of the remaining presents I have to buy - if I never return it's been nice knowing you all.
"book meme" instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.
As you can imagine, working in a library makes this almost irresistable! ...not to mention rather tricky. The closest books are actually dictionaries (these live on little narrow shelves behind my desk where they can be protected from marauding language students,) I discounted them because they don't really have many sentences in as such (I looked in the big Collins Spanish which is the actual nearest book to where I sit, but there are mostly just words and disjointed phrases in it which don't work for the purposes of the meme)
Instead I carefully paced out the distance from my desk to the next nearest shelves - it's a close run thing but 940 "European History" is marginally closer than the other nearby shelves
Nearest book in the 940 shelves (going by the height I'm at when seated at my desk) is the Vainglorious War: Barker, A.J. (940.2 BAR) and the fifth sentence on p.123 is:
"In their hurry to get back to Sebastapol the Russians had not demolished the bridges over the river or attempted any of their usual scorched earth routine"
There now, wasn't that worthwhile?
...
Why yes, I have finished work for the day! how did you guess? ;) I'm finished for the year in fact as of five minutes ago, and now I'm off to brave the horrors of Princes Street in search of the remaining presents I have to buy - if I never return it's been nice knowing you all.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
better late than never
I've updated my amazon wishlist - unfortunately I can't seem to do a direct link, so if you want to see it you'll have to go to amazon.co.uk, click wishlist and then enter my name in the search box.
appologies to the people who've been asking me for months what I want for xmas and getting "I'll get back to you" as a response - since the wishlist has lots and lots of stuff I want, consider yourselves got back to and since it's taken me so long it's worth mentioning that I actually quite like late presents
:)
[updated 20/12/04 - thanks to Liz for spotting the link problem]
appologies to the people who've been asking me for months what I want for xmas and getting "I'll get back to you" as a response - since the wishlist has lots and lots of stuff I want, consider yourselves got back to and since it's taken me so long it's worth mentioning that I actually quite like late presents
:)
[updated 20/12/04 - thanks to Liz for spotting the link problem]
Friday, December 03, 2004
'tis the season not yet!
it's not time for anything seasonal yet. No it isn't. No I'm not goingt to use that word* for at least another two weeks. And no, this doesn't have anything to do with me only having done a tiny fraction of the dreaded shopping...
... however due to circumstances beyond my control I have to go and do seasonal-ish things this evening with friends, circumstances being that one of them is inconsideratly going to Canada tomorrow. So I've been looking for things to make me resent the early onset of things which shouldn't be for another fortnight and happily I found this. It made me less cranky about it all so I thought I'd share.
* Incidentally when I do mention it I'm more likely to use this word on account of not really feeling that religion has anything to do with the holidays. Not because I'm a lazy typist, no no.
... however due to circumstances beyond my control I have to go and do seasonal-ish things this evening with friends, circumstances being that one of them is inconsideratly going to Canada tomorrow. So I've been looking for things to make me resent the early onset of things which shouldn't be for another fortnight and happily I found this. It made me less cranky about it all so I thought I'd share.
* Incidentally when I do mention it I'm more likely to use this word on account of not really feeling that religion has anything to do with the holidays. Not because I'm a lazy typist, no no.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
splatjournalist
hee. look at me, I'm a motoring journalist
OK so that's an exageration - I was scanning that site on an idle impulse yesterday and decided to write them a review of myone true love car since the only other owner review of the Bravo was a pretty half-hearted attempt... for reasons best known to the editors they axed my paragraphs on performance and value - the former probably because I raved like the love-struck loony I am when it comes to that aspect of my car, the latter probably because it just wasn't very interesting (shut up Hamish: some people do find car stuff interesting... though maybe not when it comes to the money side)
Now I'm looking at it, it could maybe have used a little polish before posting (much like my blog entries really,) but all in all I'm happy to have put my tuppeneth on this subject 'out there' somewhere people who want to know might actually read it. Might go some way toward redressing the ballance, given the unjustified bad press that FIATs still get...
OK so that's an exageration - I was scanning that site on an idle impulse yesterday and decided to write them a review of my
Now I'm looking at it, it could maybe have used a little polish before posting (much like my blog entries really,) but all in all I'm happy to have put my tuppeneth on this subject 'out there' somewhere people who want to know might actually read it. Might go some way toward redressing the ballance, given the unjustified bad press that FIATs still get...
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