going... going...

That's that then: I don't work there anymore.

Last night I celebrated leaving with the coincidentally timed anual staff dinner... It was a strange evening for me full of conflicting feelings about the place that's been work for the last four years. Plenty of little reminders of why I'm leaving, but also a lot of reminders of what (and who) I'll really miss.

For one reason and another (mostly I think down to the relative natures of myself and the job) I've never felt like I was really part of the school. I think in many ways I quite liked to feel apart from the place: its rules often frustrated me and my own values and principles are fundamentally at odds with many of the school's. Don't get me wrong: It's been a really friendly and welcoming place to work, and I was delighted to get chance to say a proper goodbye to some of the really great people I've gotten to know over the years... but when the guts of your working day consists of sitting in a silent room making sure it stays silent, and such breaks as you get fall at different times from those of most of your workmates... lets just say it's been hard to get to know people as well as I'd have liked.

That said I've managed to make some good friends there in the gaps between the silences - Projects for example (the recurring highlight of my working years) allowed me time and space to genuinely get to know some of the friendly faces from the corridors, and some of those showed up last night which was great... a couple of others I'll have to track down myself I think.

I really felt like 'part of the family' when it came to my own department. Over the years I've grown to love and respect my closest colleagues, and it was wonderful to spend my last evening with the two people who've made work more than just a four letter word for me, day in and day out since June 2001. Leaving the school at the end of the night felt entirely right - it is after all a move forward for myself that's long overdue - but leaving my two friends behind on the steps was gutwrenching.

I know that I'm going to miss a lot of the people I worked with at GWC, and I hope that many of them do manage to stay in touch, but I know that I made at least some friends for life there and it's sad to think I'll no longer be spending my days with them.